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Troy Wood (confessions of a Sacramento music geek)
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Haven't had many opportunities to update lately. Working for the county means no more sneaking in LJ entries on the job, so it usually has to be something incredibly joyous/horrible to get me to update nowadays. If I don't update, you can pretty much assume that everythings going fine and there's nothing to report. No news is good new, right?

Unfortunately, today I actually have news, and none of it's the slightest bit good.

I'm not at work because my car is parked 6 feet from where I started it up this morning and not moving another inch without a tow truck or a miracle. At least it's not on fire, and I wasn't on the freeway when the engine decided to make noises like a fork in a garbage disposal, but that doesn't make me any less pissed. I had it back from the repair shop for one friggin' day after nearly $900 in repair work to the brakes and axles, and then it does this to me. This time I'm 99% sure it's the timing chain that's snapped and may or may not have just ripped the inside of my engine to pieces. If so, I'm looking at somewhere between $700 and $1300 to get it fixed.

If I'd known this more than a week ago, I would have just pushed the damn thing off a cliff and bought a new car.

But car troubles aren't the worst of my worries. My mom has been in the hospital ever since this weekend when she suddenly started extreme abdominal pain and turning a horrible nicotine-stain yellow. She has peritonitis, and is hooked up to one of those sugar/saline drip things until they can get her to the point where they can perform enough tests to figure out what the hell's going wrong with her, and why there's a big lump in her pancreas. The doctors have come in and assured us that "It's not necessarily cancer" but they haven't exactly offered many alternatives. We might be getting some results back this afternoon, but considering that all they've done are "scrapings" rather than a biopsy, I suspect it'll be a week or more until we really know what's going on.

Fuck. This has been a horrible week, and it's not even halfway over yet.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: "Time in a bottle" being played from our neighbor's bathroom

You know you've been neglecting my Live Journal account when it takes you 3 days to hear that Logan Whitehurst passed away this last weekend.

For those of you who never had the pleasure of meeting him, or seeing him play as The Junior Science Club, or 1/3 of The Velvet Teen and Little Tin Frog, Logan was not only a brilliant singer, songwriter, humorist, and musician, but also an incredibly kind and friendly human being (in an industry that breeds more than it's fair share of pompous assholes) who continued to bring a smile to the faces of everyone around him even while he was struggling with brain cancer. He was only 29, and deserved a million times more recognition and good fortune than he ever got in life. May his legend (and that of Vanilla the Snowman) live on forever in our hearts.

Fuck. This has not been a good year for musicians.

The news is still circulating, and as far as I know no donations are being taken up. His family owns a funeral parlor, so I expect that end of things is already being covered, but please check his website for more details. If you did know Logan, please pay your respects in whatever way you can.

Current Mood: crushedcrushed

I haven't posted in nearly 6 months, but for those of you who haven't bothered to take me off your friends list, or who occasionally wondering whatever happened to that strange fellow in the black fedora who used to spend all his time spouting off about local music, well....

He just got married!

Here's the cute couple:

Here's the cute couple defying the laws of physics:

And here's our super awesome wedding cake:

You know you've found true love when the girl of your dreams fully endorses the use of daleks as cake toppers. (Not to mention making you an exact replica of the 8th Doctor's coat to wear on your wedding day!)

See you after the honeymoon folks!

Current Location: Sacramento... for now
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Wedding Mix (Vol 1-3)

Damn it, new Morrissey album. Why must you suck so hard?!? Why?!

Current Location: Work... and hating it.
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Morrissey -- goddamnfuckingbadalbum

I haven't written many live journal entries this past year, and I'm right in the middle of a hellish week of trying to run an entire call center while my boss is on vacation, so please forgive me if I'm a little late in announcing to the world that...

I'm getting married in September!!!

We're still hunting for reception sites, but there's a pretty good chance the ceremony will be on September 9th (if not, it'll be on the 16th)

Unfortunately, this awesome venue is a little too far afield to be practical. Too bad... we could have handed out phantom of the opera masks instead of favors!

Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: The 6ths -- Wasps Nest


Please note: If you own a computer, but not a brain stem, and are calling in on a day when three people are trying to run an entire fucking call center, then the above message applies to you.

An operator executioner will be with you shortly.

Current Mood: murderous
Current Music: I've Got a Little List (additional lyrics by Eric Idle)

Ok, for those of you computer savvy individuals who know what a torrent file is, and how to download them, it is my solemn duty to instruct you to locate and download the first two episodes of Life On Mars. It's without a doubt, the best BBC crime/drama/comedy/time travel series I've ever seen.

It's hard to describe the plot, but imagine a cross between Quantum Leap, CSI, and The Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' video, with just a hint of Joss Whedon style insanity.

Plus, it gets a big thumbs up from Warren Ellis, which probably doesn't happen very often.

Watch it now, before somebody at FOX gets their hands on it, and decides to produce an shitty American version that takes place in New York, and featuring a ruggedly handsome leading man, a wacky pimp-suited black sidekick, and some sort of blonde female scientist.

Current Mood: impressedimpressed
Current Music: Nevada Backwards-- Adaven

Yep. Al and I are now the happy new tenants of 1730 T Street, Apt 4.

Oh shit, it's already the 19th?!? Where the hell did the rest of this month go?!

We're nowhere near finished with our move, but at least all the backbreakingly heavy stuff has been shifted to the new place, so it's mainly just cramming the last of the miscellaneous crap into boxes, taking down my zillion-and-one pieces of artwork, patching/painting all the nail holes, and then giving the carpet a full rubber-suited hazmat scrubdown. (Ok, so it's not that bad, but there's enough grey cat fur ground into those fibers to knit us an entire new rug)

The new apartment is lovely, if a bit on the chilly side, and we spent our first night in the new place snuggled up close in our fluffy new bed, with the covers pulled up to our noses, and listening to the sound of raindrops spattering on window panes.

The kitties are also responding well to their new environment, and have already decided that this is "home." We'll see how they react the first time they come nose to nose with Jack (the neighbor's cat), who seems to have decided that our apartment is the kitty equivalent of Disneyland, and takes every available opportunity to dart through our legs and into the living room whenever we open door to the back porch. (Not to mention yowling for attention day and night whenever somebody steps into the laundry room where he can see/hear us)

Aside from the occasionally noisy feline neighbor, and the dubious nature of our electrical outlets (I hope to hell we don't trip a breaker every time someone tries to use the computers and a sewing machine at the same time) the place is pretty much perfect for us. With one slight catch...

We're going to have to go without DSL access until the 28th.

Oh cruel and miserable fate... You tempt me with the promise of new Doctor Who airing on Christmas Day, and then you snatch it from my very grasp!

Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: Anton barbeau -- Guladong

What a glorious weekend.

Not only did I get to celebrate my 5 month un-anniversary with my honey in style (ie: fish & chips at Touch of Britain followed by a night of Didley Squat over at Fox and Goose) but we finally found the apartment we've been dreaming about!

In fact, Al should be dropping off the cashiers checks and signing her half of the lease right about now!

It's on the corner of 18th and T (so we'll still be close to the heart of midtown) and combines everything that was awesome about my old victorian on P street with the latest in modern amenities like double pane windows, functional plumbing, and no bees.

It's almost twice the size of my current place (and only $75 more per month) and even though the bedroom is barely bigger than our bed itself, the rest of the apartment makes up for it by being incredibly spacious, with huge 10-foot ceilings, a private utility room with hookups (if and when we get our own washer and dryer), front and back decks, and access to a pretty spiffy backyard.

Plus it's only a 4 plex, on a quiet street with lots of parking (at least during the times we've been there), and plenty of trees for felines to go birdie and squirrel watching.... That is, when they're not busy chasing each other helter-skelter up one side of the house and down the other.

Of course, I like to think we got such a sweet deal for two reasons:
(1) We're just so damn cute.
(2) Only an idiot would try to move in December.

Ooh boy. This is going to be a mighty interesting Christmas.

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: The Groovie Ghoulies -- Appetite for Adrenachrome

Oh delicious turkey. How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.

This year was the first time I've ever tried roasting a full-sized bird on my own, but after tasting Alton Brown's superhumanly awesome recipe last Thanksgiving, I knew this time around there would be no substitutes. Once you taste pure turkey bliss, you never go back.

The biggest problem was finding a stock pot big enough to hold the damn bird for the brine process, but after a completely fruitless trip to Denios (fruitless in that the place is so packed at this time of year that I waited in bumper to bumper traffic for 45 minutes only to find that the parking lots were both at max capacity) I switched to plan B, and just borrowed one from my mom.

Much to my surprise, it turned out just as juicy and delicious as the one I sampled last year, and I now have a full 13 lbs of turkey all to myself.
And you know what? I'm going to eat ALL OF IT!

(in related news, anybody planning on buying me a sweater this Christmas, might want to go for the extra-large)

Current Mood: fullfull
Current Music: Royal Crown Revue-- Mugsy's Move

Well, this is the first time in a long while that I've woken up on a post-election Wednesday, and not wanted to punch a gaping hole in the drywall as soon as I turned on my computer monitor.

It looks like the majority of Californians agreed with me that this election was a colossal waste of time, money, and effort (but mostly money).

Thankfully, they still got their collective asses up off the couch and down to the polling place, which surprised me more than a little. Could people finally be wising up the fact that if you don't vote, you get stuck with a crappy B-movie actor for a governor? (not to mention an even less-talented President) I still haven't seen any totals on what this year's voter turnout was like, but it warmed my heart a little to see some of the people who I knew blew off the previous election sporting fashionable "I voted" stickers when they came in to work yesterday morning.

Bit of a shame about Proposition 79 and 80, though.

I know 79 looked confusingly similar to Prop 78 (and that was a deliberate tactic on the part of the pharmaceutical companies), but I would have thought the "cheaper medicine for low income families without insurance" bill would have been a shoe-in, especially since I don't know anybody (insured or otherwise) who hasn't felt royally fucked over every time they have to fill a prescription. Sadly, it lost by over 60%.

As for Prop 80... We already know deregulating California's energy industry was a massive failure (for everyone who wasn't an executive at Enron) but hey... No big deal. Next time we have rolling blackouts in the middle of a summer heatwave, while energy companies rake in billions in illegal profits, just think of it as a golden opportunity to step outside and look up at the stars.

Still, I'd always rather see a couple of good (or at least benign) propositions voted down, than a bunch of downright crappy ones passed.

Hmm.... I think my 3-day head cold is finally lifting as well. Now if I can only find a decent apartment for Al and myself, the trifecta of "much improved"ness will be complete.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: The High Speed Scene -- S/T


Somebody opened a Doctor Who themed comics and collectibles shop on Arden Way, and didn't tell me!!?!

This may be the single greatest threat my wallet has ever faced. (especially if they have any of the new remote controlled Dalek toys in stock)

Current Mood: geekygeeky
Current Music: The Advantage -- S/T

We live in a very tiny world.

So tiny in fact, that most of the time it feels like we're stuck in a cartoon where the animators got lazy and decided to reuse the same five trees and three clouds in an perpetual loop, hoping that poor old Bugs never stops running long enough to figure out he's living on a mobius strip.

Paris is burning... again.

Only it's not 1968, it's 2005, and instead of a massive city-wide strike, clever graffiti, and a bunch of situationalists deciding that the world is fucked up and unfair and maybe we should do something about it, we've got thousands of pissed off unemployed and dispossessed teens taking to the street, torching cars, fighting with police, and oh yeah... demanding social and economic change. (Well those of them articulate enough to say anything other than "Le Raaaaarrrrr!!!" and throw a trash can through a plate glass window)

The stage and scenery are exactly the same, only the players are different.

Unfortunately the summer of 1968 didn't have a happy ending. Paris was a focal point for rebellion, but when civic unrest started to spread to other parts of the globe and the government edged closer to collapse, the military was called in to swiftly quell any and all resistance.

I fear the same events will transpire in 2005, though this time with far bloodier results.
I hope to hell I'm wrong.

Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Lee Bob Watson -- The Sun Years

They say the first step towards recovering from addiction is to admit you have a problem.

I dropped Al off at work a little before 11am, headed across the street to Game Stop, then swung by work to pick up my check.
I made it home sometime about noon, and sat down at the computer to install my brand spankin' new copy of Civilization IV.

Aside from fancier graphics and amusing narration by Leonard Nimoy, it's not that different from Civ III. A couple of minor changes to the tech tree, there are now wolves, bears, and lions to fend off in addition to the rampaging barbarian hordes, and I now have to limit myself to only nuking the ever-loving shit out of Queen Victoria and Gandhi rather than my usual arch nemesis-- Abraham Lincoln. The in-game music is also bloody annoying, but thankfully there's an option to change it over to a music directory of your choice. (which by law is required to contain a copy of "the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins," "If I Had a Hammer" or "Proud Mary")

It's now after 1am, and the only reason I stopped playing is because the game glitched, and I didn't feel like backtracking all the way to my previous save file.

14 hours in front of the computer.
So much for doing laundry, filling out my absentee ballot, looking up new apartment stuff, taking photos for the new Luna's Cafe website, working on Al's painting, or even going out to see the incredibly awesome lineup at Old Ironsides that I'd been waiting for all week.

If I don't get off my ass and get out of the house tomorrow, I fear my girlfriend might have to stage an intervention.

Current Mood: nerdynerdy
Current Music: Leonard Nimoy -- If I Had a Hammer

...every time I try to figure out why the Didley Squat and Daisy Spot sites are bringing up blank pages for some users and not others.

I just spent 3 friggin hours comparing lines of code between the new and old versions of the sites, but fingers crossed, it's finally fixed. (though if this solution does work, it won't be my brilliance that solved it. I just got frustrated and posted a plea for help on the Something Awful forums, and someone else pointed out a bit of code that could cause everything beneath it to be commented out)

At any rate, if any of you use Macs (or Linux), or browsers other than IE or Firefox, please check out the above sites and let me know if they're working. (or more specifically, if they aren't)

Thanks for humoring a tired old webmaster...

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Madness-- One Step Beyond

Haven't updated in a while, so since it's an unusually slow day, I figured I should log on and dispelled any rumors about Ariel and I being washed out to sea.

Our trip to Fort Bragg went wonderfully, despite not being able to get into Russian Gulch. (must have been the annual meeting of the American Conchologist Society or something) We did find our way to McKerricher instead, and got a lovely little walk-in site that was incredibly close to the beach and surrounded by delicious blackberries. Mmmmmm.... delicious.

It was also completely secluded, right up until the point we got surrounded on three sides by an elderly couple, a gaggle of little kids, and a pair of yuppies who brought golf clubs to the beach. (so much for being 'as loud as we want') During the night, our campsite was also ransacked by a trio of foul tempered masked banditos-- better known as raccoons. The little bastards pried open the lid to our cooler and made off with an entire tub of potato salad and a huge chunk of pastrami, but decided my jello cups weren't fit for consumption. Sheesh. I'm surprised they didn't steal my hubcaps while they were at it.
Fortunately, we packed way too much food to begin with, and spent most of our time snacking on blackberries, so it's not like either of us were in danger of starvation.

For anyone who wants to see the abysmally cute photos that we took while we were there, Al uploaded a bunch of them here.

* * *

And speaking of the irrepressibly adorable, have you checked out http://www.didleysquatmusic.com lately?
Well? Have you?

Seems their web designer spent an awful lot of time taking samples of David's artwork, animating them, then converting the entire site into one enormous technicolor seizure machine.

Gaze upon it, if you dare!

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Maria Taylor-- 11:11

Ok, so work is still finding new and interesting ways to suck more every day.

Not only are we still having continuous server problems (and still no inclination hire anybody remotely qualified to fix and/or prevent them) I came to work this morning to find that the A/C vent located directly above my chair had apparently been leaking... Probably since I left last Wednesday night.

Lucky thing the vent wasn't over my computer. As it was, my chair was a little off to the side, so only the back of it got soaked, but I've still got squishy wet carpet, and I'm sure it'll be just as bad when I go in tomorrow. Not to mention the eternal joy of typing away at your keyboard, trying to think of new and creative ways to tell pissed off customers that their mail service has been interrupted yet again when suddenly and without warning UUUURURRRRRRRGHHHH!!! BLEHHHH!!!! ice cold droplets of disgusting smelly A/C water right down the back of your shirt!

Damn, I'm sick of this shit.

At least the good news is that, tired and pissed off as I am, just about everything we need for our trip to Fort Bragg (plus 6 tons of crap we almost certainly don't) is currently packed up and sitting in a corner of my living room. I've still got to burn some CD's, tidy up a bit, and shave, but those tasks can be accomplished tomorrow night. (in what order, really depends on my girlfriend's policy on kissing werewolves)

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Stellastarr* -- Harmonies for the Haunted

In retrospect, I'd just like to say that August sucked.

It was already my least favorite month of the year, what with being generally hot and miserable to begin with, and for some reason, hardly any good shows. But I have to say what really clinches it, was spending an entire month being chewed out by pissed off customers because the hosting and email services the company I work for provides were down... still down... yep... still down... and no we don't have an ETA on when they'll be back up, and no, you can't speak to one of the admins about it.

I think the absolute worst call I took was from a poor tech guy practically in tears because he's going to lose his job now... all thanks to picking us to host his company's mail system.

And as somebody who knows just how shitty the tech job market is right now, that's not something I particularly wanted on my conscience.

Thank goodness after only one day, September is shaping up to be infinitely better.

First off all, like so many of you, I received an email this morning telling me that The True Love Coffeehouse WILL be returning, and only a few blocks away from it's original location!!!! Hearing this wonderful news just about brought a tear to my eye. It'll still be a long while before it's up and operational, but I eagerly look forward to the day my own true love and I can walk through it's doors, order a pizza bagel, and sit down to watch our favorite bands play, just like we did so many times before. (only this time, we'll actually know the other person is there)

Secondly, I get to start off this month with five whole days to myself, followed by two days at work (which should suck less, now that most of our servers are working), and then a glorious weekend spent ignoring the politicians' compulsory 9-11 grandstanding by camping up at Russian Gulch with my sweetie.

This will mean missing the Sacramento AIDS walk (not that I won't be making my usual contribution to the A&K team) as well as a couple of really good shows, but I plan on making up for it by seeing at least 4 of them this week.

For those of you who missed it, last night was the final Nashville Nights over at The Blue Lamp. The Cassidys were great, and if you wondering when you can see Richard March again, he'll be playing a set on the steps of the capitol following next week's afore-mentioned AIDS walk.

Tonight, everybody's favorite band, Didley Squat, will be playing Old Ironsides along with Diciembre Gris and The Terrible Secret.

Friday, it's LGS, Army of Trees and Bonsai Empire at Old I, or Giant Squid, Via Madrone, and Lost Love over at The Blue Lamp.

And on Saturday, Christian Kiefer will be playing the Fox and Goose along with the elusive Jeff Pitcher and not so elusive (but still entertaining) Dave Gleason's Wasted Days.

Oh, and this Labor Day weekend also means it's time for the Annual Chalk It Up Festival, so if you live in the midtown area, be sure to take a wander through Freemont Park and check out the local talent.

Current Mood: jubilantjubilant
Current Music: The Buggles-- The Age of Plastic

Oh, and while my job may suck sweaty donkey balls, that's not to say other areas of my life aren't going swimmingly.

Every single person I've introduced Ariel to has made one or more of the following comments:

A) She seems wonderful
B) I've never seen you so happy
C) You two look so sweet together
D) It's about damn time

And in AAC news, both the Didley Squat and Daisy Spot CD's should be fully mastered and off on their way to reproduction right now.

Please oh please oh please let everything turn out fine. We're going with a brand new company for both these disks at the same time, so the potential for being screwed over is now doubled. And since I was the one who found them through my illustrious googling skills, if your copy of "Burning Alive Making A Living" ends up being a shitty CD-R with album artwork drawn entirely in brown crayon, it's all going to be my fault.

On the plus side, I'll probably have listened to my advance of the Daisy Spot album (11 tracks, so it's no longer an measly EP!) about a bajillion times before any of you suckers get your hands on one this October. How those two managed to go thirteen years without ever recording an album is practically a crime against humanity, but oooh boy, it's so good to finally hear it. (you can catch a couple of snippets on the website if you want to tease yourself)

Of course, now that the Didley Squat EP should also be finished, I will be requesting... nay... demanding a copy the very next time I see Eddie or any member of the band. Consider it payment for the new and improved (not to mention colorized) website of pure unadulterated awesomeness I will be piecing together as soon as I can figure out how to squeeze what's in my head into HTML code and javascript.

It'll rock your socks and quite possibly give you seizures. Just you wait and see.

Current Mood: thankfulthankful
Current Music: Grandaddy -- Excerpts From The Diary Of Todd Zilla

I'm lazy.

I don't like change, especially not changing jobs.
The last thing I want to do is start at the bottom rung in a new position where I don't know anyone, have to relearn all the rules, have no assurance that I won't be fired within the month, and oh yeah... not get stuck working some horrible night or weekend shift so I can actually spend time with my girlfriend and see the local bands that I love.

But I don't think I can take this @#$%ing company any more.

It's just one catastrophe after another, and it just keeps building, like a giant feedback loop of crappiness.
Nothing ever gets fixed. Nothing ever gets better. And everybody's so busy shoveling shit that nobody even bothers to ask why we're being dumped on in the first place.

When it gets to the point where you feel physically ill every time you think about your job, every nightmare involves being stuck at your desk reliving the tortures of the previous day, and even picking up the phone is like reaching out and shaking the hand of a man you know with absolute certainty is holding a joy buzzer, then it's time to move the fuck on.

I've got my resume all filled out and a couple of other (groan) tech places I can apply at.
I may also start taking tests for the state and/or county.

The only thing holding me back is inertia. Inertia and fear.
But when the building is burning to the ground behind you, even the biggest coward starts weighing his chances with that second story window.

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Daisy Spot-- S/T

No shuttle launch viewing for me. Stupid morning commute.

It's moments like this that make you proud to be a human being.

We may be a fucked up and self-centered species, but every now and then we reach out and touch the stars.

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Beth Gibbons and Rustin Mann-- Out of Season

No time for a proper update, but I couldn't resist filling out the Sci-Fi/Cult TV e-penis measuring meme being passed around by the_misha, frellingbored and a few others. (and doing my best to double it's length by inserting a bunch of obscure stuff and that's only recently made it into the states or got left out on the side of the curb years ago)

Hoo boy, it's getting late.
I'm just going to let the single-entendres fall where they may. It's time now to wrack my brain for all the strange television programs I've found myself addicted to over the last 27 years. Believe me, it's a long list and I'm sure I'll add even more to it tomorrow once my brain cells aren't quite so fried.

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: geekygeeky
Current Music: Audio Out Send -- Or Does it Explode?

I've made about a million mental updates to this journal over the past few weeks, but haven't yet had the time to sit down and type any of it out.

Don't get me wrong.
Most of it has been the good kind of busy.

Pretty much every waking hour I haven't been stuck at work, has been spent smooching with Ariel, hanging out with spooky_satan, or working on last minute AAC stuff.

Local music fans may be pleased to know that The Proles' latest album is finally available in stores, Dungeons and Drag Queens CD release show will be an actual CD release show (with a brand new cover designed by yours truly at 11pm last night), and there will be brand spankin' new EP's by both Didley Squat (you can check out David's amazing cover art here) and Mike Farrell's band Daisy Spot arriving some time in early October (we hope).

* * *

For those of you who remain curious as to my personal life...
Yep... Ariel and I are still just as disgustingly in love as the last time I posted.

Fortunately most of our sickly sweet ardor has been carefully shielded away behind closed doors (mainly because it's bloody hot outside), but I apologize in advance to any of you who may inadvertently find yourself witnessing one of our sappy displays of public affection. We'll try to keep it controlled as much as possible, but short of wearing his and hers full-body hazmat suits with lexan kiss-guards, full containment may be next to impossible.

Believe me. Only a month ago, I would have been right there heaving my guts out on the sidewalk along with you, but now I just find myself grinning like an idiot for no reason and staring whistfully off into space whenever she isn't by my side.

Ain't love grand.

Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Marianne Faithfull -- Before The Poison

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad today has been hellishly busy.

The more work they pile on me means the less time I have to think about Al, and how many more days it'll be until I get to see her again. Of course, the moment the phones cease ringing and people stop wandering into my office, I catch the phantom traces of her scent or soft fingers brushing along my cheek, and it hits me like a cinderblock to the stomach.

The nights haven't been much easier.

I think my mind has been polluted by too much Joss Whedon.

Somewhere deep inside my twisted psyche I keep waiting for some ancient sarcophagus, swirly hell-portal, or sneering villain to show up at my doorstep, and take away the girl I love.

'Cause as we all know, one moment of true happiness is all it takes to bring the whole world crashing down around your ears. (not to mention driving you temporarily insane or catatonic).

I really need to stop thinking like this. I've spent the last 15 years playing (if only to myself) the Broody Tortured Hero That Nobody Understands™, only now to find that someone really does understand and I have no more excuses for being broody.

Damn it. That doesn't leave a lot of personality left to work with.

Current Mood: lovedlovesick
Current Music: Anton Barbeau-- What if it Works?

I don't know what to say.
The language processors in my brain fizzle and pop every time I even try.

Never, at any point in the past quarter century, did I think I would meet a girl... the girl who fits me like a glove.

In fact, right now, I'm pretty sure my real body is strapped to a cold metal table, and scientists are poking and prodding my exposed brain through the tiny holes in the cullender they've bolted to my skull. This must be an illusion. A trap. A ploy. A highly advanced computer simulation being run by some as yet unseen arch-nemesis I never knew I had.

There's no way reality could ever be this kind.

What do you do when the light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train like you've always suspected, but a beautiful expanse of blinding sunlight, twittering birds, and babbling streams? The paradise you've always dreamed about, but never for a moment thought you'd be allowed to touch.

I'm dating the most wonderful girl in the world, and I've never felt more sure of myself or another human being in my entire life.

Could this actually be.... happiness???

Current Mood: lovedhead over heels
Current Music: Anton Barbeau-- A Splendid Tray
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